Spencetology

White House White Trash Summer

Not since the days of gladiators battling for their lives in the Roman Colosseum has there been a combination of brutality, politics, and sport – sponsored by Monster Energy.

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No grand arches or pillars, just a makeshift arena of plastic, metal, and vinyl plopped down on the front lawn of the White House.

Sure, they coulda gone with something more white-trash, like, I don’t know, a tractor pull, but instead, cage fighting would be the featured attraction.

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Who knew the White House, where Lincoln slept, Jefferson opined, and Roosevelt hosted his fireside chats, would become D.C.’s premiere entertainment venue?

Now, the South Lawn of the White House is primed for proper celebrations of America’s 250th birthday and its redneck citizens. Introducing a White House White Trash Summer – a series of events that are one Tilt-a-Whirl shy of a crappy county fair.