Spencetology

In Love with a Walmart Greeter

I am not a shoplifter. So, why is the lady near the exit at the Walmart eyeing my receipt. I get it. It’s her job. The other part of her job is to say, “Hello, happy Walmart customer,” when I walk in the door. At my neighborhood Walmart, Doris, she my girl.

In her tight-fitting Walmart-blue vest, Doris, makes my heart skip a beat. Sure, she’s got a bit of a scoliosis thing going on. Her shoes, while not stylish, seem to be very comfortable. She’s a grandmother and it appears that she just recently had her hair did.

Doris she has that “something,” that spark. I don’t even mind her checking my receipt because that means I get to spend a few extra seconds with her.

Through history, love has inspired song. It is no different here with my parody of Omi’s “Cheerleader.” Doris, this one’s for you.
 

 

It’s a sing-a-long:

Puts the sex in sexagenarian
in a blue vest
by the exit she is stationed yeah yeah
Has arthritis in her shoulder
but I’ve always liked ’em older
She tells me her hip is mending
and I look like her grandson
Her hair’s grey
Calls me sweetie
Has the diabetes
She always checks my receipt
Before I go, that’s what she does

Oh I think I’m in love with a Walmart greeter
I just want to make her soup and feed her
Oh I think I’m in love with a Walmart greeter
Her name’s Doris. She’s a sexy senior