Spencetology

It’s Friggin’ Hot

Boy, some of you are idiots. You laugh. You chide and make fun of 20 year-old Greta Thunberg. What does some stupid kid know about climate change? Well, it’s friggin’ hot. I mean, it’s really friggin’ hot.

In Phoenix, Arizona it has been over 110 degrees Fahrenheit for like 12 days in a row. The oceans surrounding Florida are in the 90’s. That’s not a bit refreshing, is it? Texas, which is typically a steaming, hot pile of garbage this time of year is even more hot and more steaming than usual.

What can we do to make you feel better? Toss you into a tub filled with Dippin’ Dots? Move you permanently to Antarctica? No, I think we can fix this with a really bad song. This is “It’s Friggin’ Hot.” Feel free to sing along with the lyrics below.

It’s friggin’ hot. It’s friggin’ hot. 
The ocean’s become a giant lobster pot
It’s friggin’ hot. It’s friggin’ hot.
Hotter than a wife whose husband’s just been caught

I look to the sky say gawd please send help
What good is heaven, I’m already burning in hell

It’s friggin’ hot. It’s friggin’ hot.
My bowl of Dippin’ Dots are no drippin’ drops
It’s friggin’ hot. It’s friggin’ hot.
Like Margot Robbie tossed in Carolina Reaper wing sauce

I try to cope, try not to complain
But I’ve had to wring out my chonies three times today

It’s friggin’ hot. It’s friggin’ hot. 
My right flip flop has fused to the parking lot
It’s friggin’ hot. It’s friggin’ hot. 
Like Katy Perry doing jumping jacks in a tube top

Your girl’s acting crazy, has a bad attitude
You would to if you had sweat dripping from your boobs

It’s friggin’ hot. It’s friggin’ hot. It’s friggin’ hot.