Song of the Week: WAP (Whack Ass Pumpkin)

Posted by admin on October 19, 2020 Blog | Parody Songs | Spence's Song of the Week | Videos | No comments

As I’ve walked around my neighborhood I’ve noticed a lot of WAP. I mean, come on, that is a whack ass pumpkin. I know we’re in the middle of a pandemic but you can’t carve a pumpkin better than that? Sad. The art of the jack-o’lantern, I think is under appreciated.

I know there are a ton of kits. The one with the scooper and the special pumpkin knives. There are some that have templates so you can have a foolproof design. Nah, not for this guy. I’m a pumpkin artist. All I need is a Sharpie, a butcher knife and my hands to scoop out the pumpkin guts.

Check out the latest episode of the Church of Spencetology Podcast.

So, I went to Smith’s grabbed a giant ass gourd. Set paper down in the garage. Grabbed the good knives from the kitchen and went to work. This song details my efforts to bring a smile to the face of trick or treaters as they walk by my house on Halloween.(If they actually show up this year.)

This video is a virtual masterclass on how to carve a jack-o’-lantern. For the record, no fingertips were sliced off and no living pumpkins were harmed during this video.

Three stories in three minutes. See “3 on 3: The Perverted Priest of Pearl River.”

With apologies to Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion here’s a remix of “WAP” perfectly timed for Halloween.