Spencetology

Peter the Candy Pimp

Maybe you should take candy from a baby. I read reports all the time about how child obesity is such a major issue in America. Yet, we shove pounds of sugar down our kids at Halloween…and more sugary treats at Easter. Not to mention, the Girl Scouts…yeah, sell more cookies, girls…so we can have more children with juvenile diabetes. Do you get a merit badge for that one?

That Easter Bunny though. Man, he’s pushing those malted robin eggs and jelly belly jelly beans. How about them Cadbury Creme Eggs…only like eight million calories each. He’s like dealing crack, right? C’mon kids…how many Peeps can you shove in your mouth at once? What’s worse, is the parents that let their kids go into an Easter candy coma every year.

Here’s a song honoring the biggest hustler of them all…Peter the Candy Pimp.