Spencetology

Idea Sheet

You Need To Calm Down – So, is this joke offensive? Is it sexist? From Netflix’s Ginny & Georgia: “What do you care? You go through men faster than Taylor Swift.” Okay. Taylor not happy. She writes, “2010 called and it wants its lazy, deeply sexist joke back. How about we stop degrading hard working women by defining this horseshit as funny.”

Now, nobody wants to get into some “cancel culture” debate on the air. Boring…and…it ends up being Facebook on the air. Maybe how do you make the joke not sexist? Or, is it okay to make it about a famous, slutty dude? Is it cool then to flip the subject of the joke to noted lothario? Should the joke be equally as outdated and read: “What do you care? You go through men like John Mayer goes through women.” Or – “You go through men like water through a colander.” “…through men like I go through Flamin’ Hot Cheetos…nom, nom, nom.”  No? Did I make it worse.

Or is this a case of people needing to calm the f*** down? She did have a dating reputation back in the day. It didn’t mean she was a slut or anything. She just did what everyone does at that age and….dated.

You Broke It & You Hid It – I was cleaning out my studio the other day and found an empty ukulele box. At one point, I bought said ukulele and thought, I would try to teach myself how to play it. I did. A little bit. When I found the empty box, I immediately thought, “Hey, what the F happened to my ukulele? It had disappeared.

I asked around the house and, obviously, nobody knows anything. Now, before you jump to the, “you were awful at it and you family was tired of suffering through your pitiful attempts at musicianship and they hit it from you,” argument, I never cursed them with my pathetic strumming.

My guess is, one of the kids broke it. Mom found out the kids broke it and knew I would be pissed and got rid of the evidence. Have you done this? Broken something that didn’t belong to you and made sure you destroyed the destroyed evidence? What was it? Did the injured party ever discover what you had done?

Amazon Fails – I’ve been lucky thus far. I think everything we’ve ordered from Amazon has been exactly what we ordered. The only scam, I can remember was a “cell phone projector.” You were supposed to be able to place your cell phone screen in this contraption and view it, big screen style on a wall or whatever. It was a box with a magnifying glass. Total horseshit.

I was talking to a bartender friend the other day  and she said that her boyfriend ordered motorized scooter for something like $170 and it took months and months to arrive. When it finally did, it was a midget fidget spinner. Before you go, uh, that’s not a motorized scooter. Well, it did have a “motorized scooter” sticker on it.