Spencetology

Idea Sheet

Driving Like An A-hole in the Company Truck – You would think that if you’re driving a company vehicle around town, logo’d up with your company’s phone number on it, that you would take extra care in how you operate said vehicle. Nah.

I’m driving on the freeway. In the rearview, I see a a good size truck flying, cutting in and out of traffic. It’s a flatbed tow truck from a local Porsche dealer. Is that flat bed empty? Nope. It has a full-sized Porsche SUV strapped to it. So this guy is going 80mph, tailgating, swerving in and out of traffic. (I’m not exaggerating. 80mph. No shit.) He’s driving like an a-hole. Again, the Porsche dealer’s phone number is clearly printed on the doors of the flatbed tow truck.

Do you call to complain? If so, are you just another version of a Karen? Or, are you being socially responsible for letting that dealer know that his driver is a disaster waiting to happen? What if you do call and the dude gets fired? Any remorse for sticking your big, fat nose into someone else’s business?

Maybe tell the story, keeping the car dealer anonymous and admit that you called to complain. Get an actor to portray the driver, who we find out was fired, due in part to the complaint.

What, not so good thing, did you see the person operating the company vehicle do?

Mind Yer Business – Or maybe you call the bit “Noneya,” “Butt In/Butt Out,” or “Tattle Tales.” Set up the bit with a scenario like above and ask listeners whether they would intervene. Any number of situations would work:

See a person shoplifting a case of water. Do you tell the clerk/store manager?

Someone dents another person’s car with their door. Do you write down the license plate and wait for the driver of the other car?

Your see your buddy’s daughter on Chaturbate, doing her thing. Man, touchy subject. Touchy. On one hand, her dad should know. On the other hand, she’s hot. Kidding. On the other other hand, you would have to admit that you spend your time on Chaturbate.

You witness one neighbor walking his dog. That dog does his business on another neighbor’s lawn. Neighbor #1 does not pick up after his mutt. Do you rat out your neighbor and possibly ignite a cul de sac civil war?

Postal Service Savior – Yesterday, my mom took a header off her front steps onto her driveway. She’s okay, however, pretty beat up. She has low blood sugar. She bent down to pick something up and went, as they say, ass over tea kettle. My mom’s glasses were beat up. She suffered two black eyes and broke her shoulder. She’s injured so badly, she is unable to get back up the steps into the house. She did not have her phone. No one was in the house. It’s 38 degrees outside. Fortunately, she had placed a couple of quilts on the patio rail. A friend was supposed to pick them up but hadn’t gotten around to it. My mom, grabs the quilt and wraps up not knowing who or when someone is going to rescue her. Again, her shoulder is broken.

About an hour later, Sarah from USPS happened by. She helped my mom up and got her the help she needed. My mom is still in the hospital. She undergoes surgery tomorrow. Sarah, followed up, and came by my mom’s house the following day to check on her.

If it’s me, you tell the story and get Sarah on the air. Salute her publicly. As far as show subject matter, USPS employees, because they’re regularly driving through neighborhoods, must have stories like this all the time. Can you find a USPS, UPS, FedEx, Amazon delivery driver to tell their story of heroism. Expand it out, When were you the hero?