Spencetology

Idea Sheet 12/12/2019

Character Definition – I was going through notes from Boot Camp and came across this one, “Tell us why you wouldn’t date one of us.” Take away whether or not anyone on the show is married or in a relationship. I think it would be revealing as to the perceptions people have about people on the show.

The Ex Moved in for the Kiss – “My ex and I have been divorced officially for nine months give or take. I do my best to keep things on an even keel. I’m guessing he thinks he does the same thing. (He doesn’t.) We have managed to keep hostilities at a minimum for the benefit of our eight year old. We held a joint birthday party for her over the weekend at my place. He’s a good dad. He likes being involved. I’ll give him that. I am nearly fully over the ten years of our marriage…and I believe he’s been done with it for about the last six years, if you know what I’m saying. But, that didn’t stop him, in a private moment, in trying to kiss me. We were both on the stairs, out of sight from everyone and he moved in with the kiss and said, “I will always love you.”

A-hole!!! Don’t do that! I pushed him away…but I kinda wish…kinda…that I had kissed him. What an idiot, right? Has anyone gone through this? Were, ya know, the marriage is done…but a situation comes up and you feel like you could fall right back into it?

Work Theft – I’ll be honest, years and years ago, I got away with stealing a company laptop. They fired me. I felt entitled so I took it. They asked and I told them I left it in such and such’s office. They didn’t pursue it. I happily used their laptop for a couple of years. Thank you very much.

• What did you steal from work? Did you get away with it?

• Isn’t it your obligation, as an employee who has been let go or moved on to take something as a souvenir? What was the souvenir you took from your previous job?

Holiday Christmas Parties – Ours will be on the 18th and will feature two drink tickets and a pizza buffet. I’m not talking shit about it. It is what it is. Simple, fertile ground for bits. There was even a shitty movie made about it.

• Does anyone know someone that lost their job because they did something stupid at the company Xmas get together?

• While our party does sound totally insane…tell us about the craziest holiday party you’ve been apart of…We had a potluck party at the stations with a employee band and whatnot…it devolved into debauchery. Individuals having sex in offices…bottles of booze everywhere and at one point our married engineer started making out with an senior citizen salesperson co-worker. It was like a car crash. No one could look away.