Spencetology

Idea Sheet 11/21/2019

Saw This on Reddit – You get a billion dollars if you can start a massive argument at your family’s Thanksgiving dinner. What’s your game plan?

My Sister Is Dating My Ex & Wants to Bring Him to Family Thanksgiving – Some standard holiday drama…the premise is simple. “My family has always considered me to be the black sheep. So, when Bryan and I broke up after nearly two years, they blamed me. They LOVED Bryan. It’s been more than a year since we broke up and I found out that, not only has he kept in touch with my parents he’s dating my little sister. That alone would make anyone’s head explode until my mother called yesterday, ‘Hey, would you mind if Danielle brought Bryan to Thanksgiving? You know, his family is back in Jersey so he doesn’t have anywhere to go and, of course, we’ve always liked him.‘ For real?!?!?!? I have to boycott family Thanksgiving, don’t I? I mean, either that or find some super hot, funny, tall, built guy to fake being boyfriend during dinner so I can shove it in their faces. But this is not some stupid Rom-Com, this is my life.”

I’m The Bad Guy – Using the Billie Eilish track as a intro/outro we set up scenarios either written or via VM and air them. Then we decide if the person in question are, in fact, “the bad guy.” Some examples:

• I have a co-worker who parks in the handicap parking spot in front of my office all the time. I got sick of it. I called Metro’s 3-1-1 line and explained that this car is always parked illegally and if by chance there was an officer in the area, maybe they can teach him a lesson. It took a few days of calling but they finally showed up yesterday and gave him a ticket. We all heard about it later in the day that he was pissed about receiving a $250 ticket. Am I the bad guy?

• I went through self-checkout yesterday at a grocery store we all know. I scanned everything, or so I thought, and headed for the door. The receipt checker waved me through…didn’t check. When I got to the car, I realized I did not scan the laundry detergent. I was wondering why the bill was so low…It was $17, almost $18. I didn’t do it on purpose so it’s not stealing is it?…I considered it a win and went about my day. Am I the bad guy?

• With the rain yesterday, I was driving through my neighborhood and accidentally hit a puddle that totally doused this old couple and their dog. Now, I didn’t do it on purpose…but I realized I had done it and sped away in shame. I did not stop to make sure they were okay or to apologize. Am I the bad guy?