Idea Sheet 10/08/20

Posted by admin on October 8, 2020 Prep | Tags: , , , , , , , , | No comments

Recurring Dreams – Inspired by this:

I can’t say that I have any, personally. Another angle, I suppose, is one for people like me. I rarely remember dreams. On occasion, I’ll have one but I only recognize it if I wake up in the middle of it to go to the bathroom. I go, “Oh shit, I just had a dream.” And then I go through it while I’m on the toilet and analyze it…or…if it’s really good one, I make adjustments, mentally, to it becomes even better. But back to the topic at hand. Do you have any recurring dreams? What do you tell yourself it’s about…but in the back of your mind, you have a feeling it means something all together different.

When an Insect Got the Best of Me – To Vice President Mike Pence’s credit, he didn’t bat an eyelash when that housefly landed on his gray mane. Fly hung out, maybe dropped some eggs…got stuck in the sticky Aqua Net coating that keep’s the veep’s hair more uptight than his personality. I have let an insect get the best of me. (It was a spider…I know, not an insect but you know what I mean. I’m sure many of you have stories…driving along, it’s early evening, for some reason I look down at the floorboard and, honest to God, the biggest spider I had ever seen is meandering toward the brake pedal. Now, it was a decent sized spider but not tarantula-like…I flipped the f out. I tried to step on it. Missed. Which of course sent it into a panic. I’m distracted and in the process of trying to kill the spider and operate my car, I curbed it. Ran the car right up onto a curb, turned the wheel before I would have hit a.) the sidewalk, or b.) a tree. F’d up the alignment to the tune of $732. Got the f out of the car and, of course, could not find the spider. I figured he was more scared than I was…immediately went home and sprayed half a can of Raid under all of the seats and in all of the nooks and crannies. I f—ing hate spiders.

How Old Is Too Old to be a Dad? – I just read that Katharine McPhee is pregnant with her first child. Her husband, songwriter, music producer David Foster is 70 years old. That means, at best, pops will be wheeled in to his kid’s graduation.

“Hey, man, which one’s your dad?”

“He’s the one on the ventilator.”

And, let’s not overlook, the possibility that you could die at 79 when your kid is nine friggin’ years old. Selfish much? You’re going to put your kid through losing a parent at NINE?!?! Sure is mom is still there and relatively young and surely will find a younger stepdad in a relative heartbeat…but ewww.

Mick Jagger is 77 with a 3 y/o. Does it matter? Do you have an old dad? How was it compared to your friends with young dads? Did you notice any difference? I was a young dad. My kid was born when I was 24. My dad, well, he wasn’t around, so, that’s another topic all together.

Having Kids Young/Having Kids Old? – As I have seen the argument, the downside to having kids young, is you miss out on the partying and getting crazy of those early 20’s. The return on the investment is that you can be in your early 40’s…you can party and have fun…and you have money to enable the freedom to a lot of good shit. You are probably not as good of a parent because you’re young and stupid. Having kids later…you get your partying and stupidity out. By the time you have the kids you’re more financially stable. You’re more stable and you’re probably a better parent overall. I took the former rather than latter. I’ll be honest, I love it. My kid was pretty much out of the house at 18. I could kinda do what I want. How is it working in your life? Which did you choose…or which was chosen for you? What are the pluses and minuses in your book?

International Friends – Our best couples friends recently moved to Australia. My buddy Paul is from Melbourne. His parents are getting older so he moved he, his wife and two kids to Victoria. We talk to them quite a bit and do international FaceTime. Which is interesting because to get Australian time…we have to subtract six hours and add a day. If it’s 9pm on Thursday in Vegas – it’s 3pm on Friday at their house. International Date Line..fucking math. I enjoy getting their take on American life and customs. Now, if you go political, you’ll take a risk…all of our friends that are international, and that’s three couples…Aussie, German and English…all think the president is a nutjob. That doesn’t work. People love accents. We played a game on the air with my Australia Paul called, “The Bruce Game.” We had him host the contest and every answer, obviously, was “Bruce.”

I can imagine also having a similar contest where your international friend speaks a sentence using slang native to their homeland, and the listener has to translate what he/she is saying.

Creating Political Ads for Your Co-Hosts – If you have a bunch of creative types on your show that aren’t thin-skinned, have everyone write a political ad for the other people on the show. You could go negative or positive…although negative is funnier.