Spencetology

Idea Sheet

Kuck Fanye – He’s been banned from Twitter. I’m not sure why he posted a video of himself peeing on one of his 21 Grammys. But the argument that you can’t make fun of Kanye because he’s mentally ill, screw that. Get help, bruh. The sad part is some employee is going to have to fetch the award out of the toilet and clean it off. Blech

Have listeners that have trophies. Using only the sound of the listener peeing on their own trophy, you guys have to guess what theywon the trophy for. Golden Showers for Golden Trophies. I guess I could piss on my Certificate of Completion in finishing the”Preventing Workplace Harrassment” course.

Let’s play, “What Am I Peeing On?” I can create a stupid jingle. I know the excretory shit can get you in trouble. But the idea of the sound of a piss-like apparatus making noise off an object is stupid funny to me. “That sounds like a half-empty two liter bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper.”YOU’RE RIGHT!!! Hahahaha

All of you bring in the last trophy you won. Post a pic of it on your socials

Except for Grammys, Oscars and whatnot, does anyone really win trophies as an adult? Yeah, I guess, softball tournaments. Maybe have people call in with information on the last trophy they won. I think the last award I won was from CBS Radio and I got some bullshit resin thing with my name on it and years of service…oh, I also won an inflatable kayak. I could have chose something elsebut that was in my reward level in the catalog.

My Dog Just Saved Its Own Life – We have a Chihuahua mix. Mochi is 18 months. He’s a good boy and gets along with everyone.I, however, am not his favorite. Deeper voice…I’m not immune to raising that voice. So, it was exceptionally odd that, just a few minutes ago, he ran into my room…up over the couch at the end of the bed to say hi. My wife and I are laying there and he licks my arm and then runs back down the way he came…and back downstairs. He does this three times. After the third time, my wife and I are like, “What’s this dog trying to tell us…and why is he telling me?” After the third visit, I go downstairs to check stuff. I check the doors to make sure they’re locked and whatnot. I peer out the french doors that lead to the backyard and kick on the light…I see a quick reflection of light from animal eyes and then the animal darting from one side of my backyard around the house. I must have left the backyard gateopen. Fuggin’ GD coyote was in my backyard. In my neighborhood, it’s not unusual to see them at night but typically not in the neighborhood. We have a small dog door…the coyote would not have fit…by the size of him, I didn’t think he would anyway. All I can guess is, Mochi told his daddy that we had an unwelcome visitor. Freaks me out when dogs do that. I’m thinking he’s telling me I have cancer or there’s going to be a deadly earthquake or some shit.

Dude Found Brains – I think it was on the shores of Lake Michigan. Guy sees something wrapped in foil with a pink rubberband holding it together. He’s gotta figure out what’s inside. He opens it up. At first he thinks it’s chicken breasts…then…oh shit! It’s brains, man. Come to find out it was a cat brain. Which might be even more creepy. Some serial killer getting his practice in on cats. I saw that Netflix doc. Have you ever come across something while out in the middle of nowhere and curiosity took over and you just had to look. I never found anything gross. One time, while out in the woods with some buddies, we found a big box of porn. Some guy’s lifetime collection. All mags but dirty ass stuff. It was one of the greatest days of my adolescent life.