Spencetology

Idea Sheet

People In Your Neighborhood – I put together a Mr. Rogers jingle open.  The concept is a place for fun or interesting sound bites.. You play the jingle then the clip and give the listener three choices. Where is this person’s neighborhood? Is it in a.) El Cajon, CA, b.) Independence Missouri or c.) Helena, Montana. They try to guess…prize or whatever…but it’s a good opportunity to play some of the crazy ass audio you find on your prep service.

Here’s the jingle open.

 
Here is a clip.

Are these anti-mask demonstrators gathered to protest in:
a.) Chico, California
b.) St. George Utah
c.) Hannibal, Missouri

The other way to do the bit, maybe, is a locally relatable story of some idiot doing something dumb…you wouldn’t necessarily need audio. I think the audio makes it better but…have listeners try to identify what part of town the story came from. In Vegas, we could give them multiple choices like a.) Hendertucky, b.) Blue Diamond or c.) Centennial Hills.

Weirdest Deal Breakers? – I saw that 14% of people would dump a promising relationship if they were “food incompatible.” I get if you’re a full-on vegan…your animal rights lovin’ ass isn’t going to want to sit idly by while I chow down on my medium rare tomahawk. My wife and I are complete opposites on food. I hate sushi. She’s Hawaiian. When she wants to go to sushi, I get the chicken teri. Simple…and economical. For me food wouldn’t be a deal breaker…this is kind of Seinfedly but what was your weirdest deal breaker?

This won’t apply for some places but I discovered dating this girl was a 50 mile round trip and I’m like nope. Geographically undesirable. One girl I dated for awhile had an inverted nipple. I couldn’t get past it. It looked like a innie…but it was her nipple…you could kind of cajole it out if you worked really hard at it…It felt like I was dating a girl with one eye. I told her I wanted to get an eye patch for her right tit…she did not think that was funny.

Mask Sex – More than you would think would have “mask sex.” I realize that that is two studies, I’ve quoted in a row. Still interesting. 27% say they would. Can we do a show peer reviewed scientific study. Or a show School of Science and Understanding?  Have someone one the show or a few listeners agree to have sex with a mask on and report back? What was the experience like? Did you both wear masks? I think they have to keep it on the entire time.

How Did We Make It Out Alive? – I saw a story about jobs for kids that couldn’t get “real” jobs…like the under-16 set. And how because of COVID or just because they’re a bunch of lazy ass video game playing slovens, they’re not doing those jobs anymore. Lifeguards. Mowing lawns and babysitting were listed. I had a job when I was 12…and, in hindsight, I don’t think my mom knew exactly what I was doing. I was a door-to-door candy salesperson. I would get picked up in a van with a bunch of other kids and the adults would drive us all over the place. Drop us off in a strange neighborhood with a box of candy. It was like big box of turtles or or like Peppermint Patty’s but an off-brand. When someone would answer the door we’d tell them we were raising money for some athletic thing but it was bullshit. And the van…was a creepy, pedo-van…no windows…and there would be eight to 12 of us…I probably was messed with but I’ve blocked it out…and I’m cool with it. Ignorance is bliss. What totally unsafe job did you have as a kid…that today…no fuckin’ way?