Flabby

Posted by admin on March 26, 2014 Audio | Blog | Parody Songs | Tags: , , , , | No comments

Flabby

Ah, the dreaded “winter weight”. We all pack on a little blubber to insulate us during the colder months of the year. But here in Vegas, pool season comes early and, if I may be frank, your lack of cardio is showing, bro.

I suppose I could be proactive and supportive toward your efforts to be pool ready but instead I figure a little shame would do. Check out this parody of Pharrell Williams’ “Happy” describing your present carb-infused situation. It’s “Flabby.”

 

 

Sing along, friends.

Pool season’s comin’ and I’ve gained some weight
Been livin’ off Cold Stone and Famous Dave’s
I’m a like Toronto’s mayor, a bit outta shape
I’m not scared. I’m goin’ bare, by the way

Because I’m flabby
I haven’t done cardio since way back in high school
Because I’m flabby
I only wear maternity jeans even though I am a dude
Because I’m flabby
I gotta wear a sports bra to support my full C cup man boobs
Because I’m flabby
I’m pretty sure Cinnabon is one of the four food groups

Flabby, Flabby, Flabby, Flabby (repeated)
Bring me down…some Fig Newtons
Bring me down I want some curly fries
Bring me down…extra gluten
Bring me down, I say…

Because I’m flabby
I’ve got me high cholesterol. My B-M-I’s through the roof
Because I’m flabby
I wear Spanx on top of Spanx to keep this all tight for you.
Because I’m flabby
I just enjoyed 4th meal although it’s not even noon
Because I’m flabby
No ma’am, I’m not pregnant but I often like to eat for two