Spencetology

Don’t Say Gray

Florida is regularly in the news. Its 22 million residents, typically, earn their notoriety in what has come to be known as “Florida Man” stories. You know, headlines like: “Florida Man Engages in Oral Sex with Alligator; Loses Wiener.”

As of late, however, Florida politics have taken the lead. Presidential wannabe, Governor Ron DeSantis, has regularly fed red meat to his Republican base by lambasting mask wearing and castigating woke culture.

He recently signed a measure outlawing the discussion of sexual identity and gender in elementary schools. Critics have dubbed it the “Don’t Say Gay” law.

Not to be outdone, I decided to poke fun at the law by using another Florida staple as an example. Old folks. No lie, the seniors run shit in Florida. They’re everywhere, sporting their floral patterned shirts and white, leather New Balance walking shoes. They live out their golden years, basking in the Florida sun.

But some don’t want to look old and that’s where “Don’t Say Gray” hair color comes to the rescue. Don’t Say Gray. Hair color that’s age-defying and age-denying.”