Spencetology

Yes, those are your favorite yoga pants. You’ve been in them for eight days straight now and someone needs to say something.

We all know it’s a pandemic and our daily routines have been altered but that does not give you a right to suffocate your own Lululemons. Those comfortable wonders are as much a part of you as you are of them. Treat them to a good washing. Perhaps, you too, could take a dip and, um, freshen up.

I mean, you don’t want your boyfriend for days on end, do you? If he did that you would be all over him like stank on yoga pants. A ha, did you see what I did there.

When you hear this message, don’t be angry with them. Please know that it comes from a place of trust and love. Because, even with a mask, everyone at Whole Foods can smell you coming from three aisles away.

For your safety and for your hygiene here’s a very important message from yoga pants.